bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.

Allahumma solli 'alal habeebukal kareem... fi kulli lamhatin wa nafasin 'adada ma wasi'ahu 'ilmullah.

O Allah,

this very moment, when my tears are welling up in my eyes,

my fingers dancing on the Netbook's keyboard,

my back leaning against my pillow,

You know if every breathe i take is for You or the otherwise,

You know if i am truly sad because of You, or the otherwise,

You know if I really want to change, because of You, or otherwise.

I can't hide, because You know it all.

I'm afraid of saying what or who I care about.

I'm afraid of making wrong du'aas.

I'm afraid of EVERYTHING but You.

O Allah, You know me more than I know myself.

Therefore,in full embarrassment, I pray; make me know myself, to know You more.

And to know myself, I've to know Rasulullah.

...and knowing him makes me more embarrassed.

How, O Allah?